November 14th, 2015
If I thought I was tired after week one, I was in for a shock by the end of week three. We have been pushing ourselves to our limits and I have begun to see the fallout. Injuries and emotional struggles are running rampant through the group this week. Our minds and our bodies are stretched thin, but our motivation and drive remains strong. This week focused less on philosophy, anatomy, and the fundamentals and was meant to be more about fun. And it is not to say that it wasn’t, but the truth is that we are all exhausted.
So much information is thrown at you every day, and I am finding it hard to properly digest all the new knowledge I am being awarded. My mind is buzzing with new words, new concepts, new practices, and new challenges I have been faced with, and I am beginning to believe that I just can’t take in any more. From talking to my fellow yogis, I know that I am not alone. But this is what we signed up for, right? An intensive course. And that is exactly what it is.
Aside from exploring several different yoga practices this week, we have also begun to start sequencing and practice teaching throughout the day. Again, my classmates’ strengths and weaknesses are brought to attention as we focus on different aspects of the training. Where some excelled in their personal practice, they struggled with sequencing, teaching, and practical application. I know for me, being the proud person that I am, that it was very difficult to acknowledge and accept that my best effort still could benefit from further practice and improvement.
When I talked to family and friends it was all the same, “Well you’ve only been doing it for three weeks, why are you beating yourself up?” For me, these three weeks have felt like an eternity and halfway through the third week I felt as though I was a failure. When I had to miss a whole day of class due to an injury in the inversion workshops, I realized they were right. I was literally beating myself up and pushing so hard to attain a certain level of “perfection” that was simply unattainable. Yoga practice is practice for everyone from the beginner to the expert teacher, and we all have areas for improvement and new things to learn. The practice never ceases, as yoga is ultimately a journey of self-discovery and a means to achieving higher cosmic intelligence. The fact that I was dealing with these struggles, meant that I was pushing myself one step closer to where I wanted to be, regardless of where I stood.
The lessons I took away with me this week were less about Acro, Prenatal, and Restorative yoga, and more about ahimsa (compassion) and santosha (contentment). Practicing non-violence towards myself in my practice and in my mind and feeling happy with my successes thus far – not focusing on my perceived defeats. Everything in this course so far has been a success, even when it appears otherwise. We have successfully completed three weeks of very strenuous training and we are all stronger because of it.
One more week to go, a lifetime of lessons to learn. And in this moment, I have done all I can do and I have learned all I can learn, and every day from here on forward I will do the same.
By Meagan Klein – Nov 2015 graduate